The ups and downs of life cause some level of anxiety in everyone. Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. Anxiety disorders sometimes entail recurrent episodes of acute anxiety, fear, or terror that peak in a matter of minutes (panic attacks). Generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and various phobia-related disorders are only a few of the several types of anxiety disorders.
Parents with anxiety problems frequently worry that they may impart their anxiety to their offspring. There were some fascinating results from recent studies on the sex of the parent and the child and anxiety transmission. Here are some of the takeaways:
- If a parent of the same sex also has an anxiety problem, their children are more likely to have one as well.
- However, the likelihood of an anxiety disorder in the kids is not increased if the opposite-sex parent also has one.
- On the other side, a child’s risk of having an anxiety condition is lower if they have a same-sex parent who does not experience anxiety.
- It’s interesting to note that the likelihood of anxiety disorders in children is unaffected by having an anxiety-free opposite-sex parent.
Be aware that alternative genders were not taken into account in the study; only participants who identified as male or female were examined. Additionally, neither transgender individuals nor the effects of anxiety disorders in the children of same-sex couples were covered.
The study’s authors came to the conclusion that although genetics may still have a part in the emergence of anxiety disorders, this impact may not be as significant as it is in the emergence of conditions like bipolar disorder and psychosis. Instead, they stressed the importance of parental modeling and indirect learning for their same-sex offspring.
What Do Modeling and Vicarious Learning Mean?
Modeling is what one person teaches another through their behaviors. For example, suppose a parent is afraid of having a panic attack while driving and avoids driving on freeways. They might be inadvertently teaching this fear to their child.
Vicarious learning is learning through the experience of others. When the child is ready to learn to drive, like in the panic attack scenario, they can be afraid to do so because they “learned” this fear response from their parent.
Children are like sponges, absorbing information from the world around them. This study indicates that cis-gendered kids with cis-gendered parents might identify more with a parent of their same sex.
(Note: Cis-gendered means that someone’s gender identity corresponds with their birth sex.)
So take into account a parent who exhibits nervous tendencies and is of the same sex as their child, such as frequently voicing worries or avoiding situations because of anxiety. If a parent of the opposite sex acts in that way, the child may be more prone to “learn” that the world is unsafe.
Oh No! Have I Affected My Child?
Consider this research as an opportunity to act, rather than something that will only increase the stress and anxiety of a parent with an anxiety illness. If you are a parent with anxiety struggles, here are some tips:
Have self-compassion. It is not your fault that you have anxiety problems because you didn’t seek to get them. It is not the end of the world even if you have taught your child anxiety-related habits. No parent is perfect, anxiety issues or not, so reflect on the good parenting you have done for your child.
It’s not too late to change. You can use your anxiety as an opportunity to teach your children positive coping skills.
Example #1: A parent has the urge to check the lock more times than necessary.
Unproductive Response: The parent rechecks the lock multiple times without saying anything. Or, they ask their child or partner for reassurance that they checked the lock (after they clearly checked it).
Productive Response Option 1: “I’m feeling anxious about whether or not I locked the door, but I’m almost positive that I already checked, so I’ll resist checking again.” This response is terrific because the parent is modeling how they are productively coping with their anxiety.
Productive Response Option 2: (to use when unable to resist the urge to check): “I’m feeling anxious about whether or not I locked the door and don’t feel comfortable leaving the house without checking it. However, I realize that it’s just my anxiety making me too worried, so moving forward, I will work on not checking more than I need to.” This response shows that the parent is not perfect (and gives the message that it is OK to have flaws) and that they have a growth mindset in terms of addressing their anxiety.
Note: If the parent can resist checking the lock without saying anything and keep their anxiety to themselves, that’s great too.
Example #2: The child indicates that they have a stomachache and headache.
Unproductive Response: In an effort to identify the child’s ailment, the parent hurriedly searches the internet or quizzes the child repeatedly about their symptoms.
Productive Response: “I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well.” If it seems warranted, tell them you will check with their doctor, or if it doesn’t seem urgent, tell them that you will wait until the next day to see how they are feeling.
Get some extra help. If you need some help managing your anxiety, now might be the time to find a therapist. There are also self-help books, videos, and apps that can be helpful in teaching strategies for managing anxiety. Just make sure they are from a credible source.
The Unknown About Anxiety Disorder Transmission
Although this study has provided some insight into the transmission of anxiety disorders, there are still a lot of unanswered questions. For example, the study did not address same-sex relationships.
- Would a daughter of two mothers, each with anxiety, have a greater risk of developing an anxiety disorder than a child with one mother with anxiety?
- Or conversely, would a daughter with two mothers, each without anxiety, be more protected than just having one mother without it?
- How about anxiety disorder transmission risks with a transgender child or a transgender parent?
Clearly, more research is needed in these areas. But we are aware that it’s crucial to be careful about how we communicate our anxiety to our kids. With this insight, we may adjust the way we teach kids various actions.
