According to a recent study in the Journal of Research in Personality, a narcissist’s failure to demonstrate partner enhancement is one of the reasons it is challenging to have a healthy relationship with them (i.e, the tendency to perceive a romantic partner as better than oneself).
Psychologists Anna Czarna and Magdalena Śmieja from the Jagiellonian University in Poland explain the inspiration for their research:
“We observed multiple couples where both partners seemed to be working in the same field and wondered how they dealt with competition with each other, how they avoided the pitfalls of comparisons with each other, and how such comparisons impacted their relationships. Some couples appeared perfectly able to perform this balancing act and maintain very high opinions of self and partner and respect for each other while others did not.”
Czarna and mieja conducted a series of surveys to examine the self-esteem, narcissism, partner enhancement, relationship length, and relationship quality in couples to investigate why this would be the case. Three key findings emerged:
- Narcissist-free people improved their spouses in the early phases of their relationships, but not in the latter ones.
- Through all phases of a relationship, narcissists exhibited little partner enhancement.
- Instead, high narcissists indulged in self-enhancement.
Women tended to perceive their highly narcissistic male partners as superior to themselves. This result might play into folk psychology (women like bad boys) and also popular stereotypes about male narcissists who are found attractive, popular, and perceived positively by their female admirers.
Anna Czarna and Magdalena Śmieja
Benefits of Partner Enhancement
The following are some of the ways that partner enhancement, according to the researchers, greatly affects the strength and length of a romantic relationship:
- More effective conflict coping
- Less usage of negative communication
- An inclination to higher levels of commitment
They explained that
In conflict circumstances, relationship enhancement appears to act as a kind of “inoculation” against less positive perceptions of a partner’s actions. It could help you avoid assuming that your partner is being cruel or malicious.
Instead, people who value their relationships are more likely to attribute their actions favorably.
In the case of narcissists, however, the researchers suggest that self-enhancement overtakes partner enhancement:
Individuals with high levels of narcissism are essentially addicted to their own worth. They are constantly looking for ways to enhance their egos. It is challenging to restrain their constant pursuit of self-improvement in tight and personal relationships.
Most significantly, they favor independence, success, and personal accomplishments over community and healthy relationships.
Gender Effect
The researchers also found an unexpected gender effect: male narcissists seemed to be particularly enhanced by their female partners:
“Women tended to perceive their highly narcissistic male partners as superior to themselves. This result might play into folk psychology (women like bad boys) and also popular stereotypes about male narcissists who are found attractive, popular, and perceived positively by their female admirers.”
However, the researchers stress that the advantages were transient; male narcissists lose their appeal once their socially repulsive traits, such as selfishness, dishonesty, and exploitativeness, come to light.
Czarna and Mieja plan to investigate which “flavors” of narcissism have the greatest influence on romantic results in the future.
“Building on this knowledge is a necessary step in designing future interventions that could be useful in couples counseling,” they conclude.
